I probably should not attempt to write about such an important part of Coming Up as late in the night as this but I feel  I should. You see a friend of mine earlier today made a comment about how he was with someone the other night while thinking of someone else. I give them tons of credit for being so honest with themselves and others and admitting it. Most of us would rather ignore it or hide it.

But we have all done it, and likely do it quite regularly. It’s only natural. But is it fair to ourselves and to the person we might be with? Not really, but each of is guilty of it.

It can be an old fling, an old relationship, spouse, a friend, anyone really. Perhaps someone we would just rather be with or can not get out of our mind. Whoever that other person may be, they are important enough in our mind – or heart – that we can’t stop thinking about them. Maybe it is just a fleeting thought and we forget them as fast as they came to mind, or maybe the thought of them overwhelms us so much we call the person we are with by the other’s name. That could be awkward!

Being present in the moment is not easy. We daydream, fantasize, and long for things beyond the moment and far from our grasp. Sometimes when these emotions and longings become so strong they can become dangerous. An addict will feign for his or her drug of choice stopping at nothing to get it. They will do things they later regret just to get their next fix. Likewise, if we desire something beyond our reach or beyond the moment to such a degree, it can harm our relationships and jeopardize what we already have.

Few things in and of themselves are dangerous in moderation. Even the most awesome elements, such as water and fire are moderately safe when contained in manageable amounts. Open the flood gates or turn up the flame – watch out. Those candle lights or droplets will turn in to a raging inferno or white water rapids.

Thoughts and reflections are lovely and can help inspire and motivate, but let them become obsessions and they will quickly become overwhelming compulsions that will distract you from the present and even cause you to throw away what you already have for something you think you need or want.

Being content with who are you are with regardless of the relationship., ie. a wife, a family member, a friend, a business partner or anyone, is an important part of being in the moment. It is only when we are in the moment that we are able to feel complete and satisfied. When we are complete and satisfied, we will find peace and experience happiness. That is a critical element to ‘Coming Up“.

Don’t bury thoughts of tomorrow or abandon your  dreams  but realize that the most important thing any of us has is what we have at this exact moment – life and thoughts for the one’s we are with.

Thought for the day: I will be present with the people/person  I am with but I will carefully chose the people I decide to spend my time with.

‘Coming Up” does not mean at the cost of other’s mistakes“

..”For any man’s death deminishes me for I am apart of all mankinde”.    John Donne

On China’s Failures and Successes

China is well poised to overcome the US on so many levels. Despite this, We Americans need to refocus our energies on education, creativity and technological progress. Not only must we build better mousetraps and products, but we must also build better character in ourselves and our children. If we do this, we won’t need to fear China, but celebrate her successes and mourn when she fails as well.

Brian Carrillo

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  Vilic • 10 mths ago

  As a Chinese, I want to say that, we are perfect copiers but not creators. Our government won’t let us create too much cause the sense of creating is coming with too many other things such as independent thinking. Once the citizens learn how to think independently, the government would lose control.

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  kranium256 • 10 mths ago

  That was possibly the best comment I’ve ever read on Y!

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  TLO • 10 mths ago

  Second that. Very well said, Brian.

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  Timur • Washington, District of Columbia  • 9 hrs ago

  That is the smartest comment I have read for the year. Character and morality does sustain a nation in the LONG RUN (60 years), though Poker playing can win in the short run.

I am no expert in Foreign relations but I am an expert in human behavior. We fear what we know little about. It’s easy to fear other nations and cultures that are not like ours, but does this help us and lift man as a species? No. It undermines all of us and eventually leads to our demise.  Instead of casting the stone at others consider your own shortcoming and ignorance. What are you doing to succeed? Are you blaming others and justifying your actions through hate and ignorance?

Today’s Thought of the day: I will embrace the differences in others and celebrate their successes and mourn their losses.   I will stand up for truth regardless if it is popular or not.

Today it is a little cold outside here in the Valley yet according to the latest news, the ice caps continue to melt at unprecedented rates and we have the hottest temperatures on record in the northern hemisphere. I also read that our nation is on the verge of economic collapse and bombs killed top officials in Syria earlier today, not to mention many others have been robbed, maimed, killed or robbed during random and/or planned crimes and accidents. There are many other depressing headlines but I think I will spare you the agony and move on to my point for the day which is basically, if you rely on the news to cheer you up, for get about it.

Happiness  comes from positive stimuli which for many of us will be the small things not the news we read about.

It’s the small things that make the difference in the world – not  the huge events.

So what are the small things?  The small things are the often overlooked stories or events that are difficult to find or which become overshadowed by the nuts and bolts of life. But if we dig a little, or tune down the TV or music we might find it and hear about them.  They can be a huge butterfly flying around your yard or a hummingbird hovering outside your window. They can be the new oranges on your tree that will be ready to eat in a few months or the figs you see growing on your baby fig tree.

They can also be the smile of neighbor or the dog barking in the back at a squirrel.

A phone call from a friend, an email from your kid who is away at school or a note from your bank telling you have more money than you thought you did.

As for Good News, here are a few headlines that I would consider ‘Good News” to help you with you mood adjustment:

• Charlie Sheen Gives $1 Million to the U.S.O. to Support Military Families
• Czechs Fly 4 More Endangered Wild Horses to Mongolia
• Mexican President Says Drug Murders Down 15-20 Percent
• New Procedure Saves Dog Poisoned By Mushrooms
• Just 10 Years-old, a Hero for the Homeless Wins $10,000 Award
• Ships Rerouted to Save Whales in San Francisco Bay
• ‘Quiet Hero’ Took in Abused, Abandoned Kids and Raised Them to be Successful
• Polish Citizens Who Rescued Jews in WWII Hailed as Heroes
• 13-Year-old Recycles Cooking Grease into Heating Oil for Needy Families
• Man Plants Heart-shaped Tribute to Late Wife Using 6000 Oak Trees

If these are not enough for you, I suggest you just go outside and do some stretches and look up.

That’s what I just did and I feel better already.

Thought of the Day: Today I will go outside and stand under a tree.  It’s these small things (or big things if you have a big tree like me) that will make me rich and a little cooler when it’s hot.

Consider the movement of river or stream. At times it is still and at other times is like a roaring lion. What’s interesting is that regardless of it’s appearance, the river holds the same energy.  What causes the river to increase it’s speed has more to do with the angle in which it is flowing and the opening in which it is flowing through.

Both these elements can be manipulated either naturally or through mechanical means. Does this mean that there is more water originating from the source? No. It’s still the same river.

Stillness affords us the opportunity to relax our force and to preserve it for the right occassion. Each of us has a life force that will run out – it is inevitable. Calming our mind and our spirits allows us to preserve it and to live a healthier more energetic life.

To enjoy the beauty of nature we must embrace the moment.

Thought for the Day: I will live for the moment and celebrate tomorrow when it arrives.

TO FIND YOUR KEYS IT JUST MIGHT BE NECESSARY TO LOSE THEM

“…Our fate lies within us. We just have to be brave enough to find it.” From the Movie Brave

Not too long ago my girlfriend, Katie, and I took a weekend trip to Carlsbad, a little beach town a few miles North of San Diego and about 100 miles South of Los Angeles. It rained the entire trip.

The first night we were there we walked in the rain to a very nice restaurant a few blocks from our hotel.

The dinner was fantastic, the service was great and place was worthy of a return, which we did the following morning not because we wanted breakfast, but because we lost our keys and were unable to locate them in our room or in our bags.

We figured we must of left them there the night before and were hopeful we would find them when the owner greeted us at the door. Unfortunately, they were not there, or any where else we looked including the hotel lobby, the Mexican restaurant we visited for lunch the previous afternoon or inside the car.

Completely bummed out from our misfortune we decided that the only way out of the mess we were in was either to pay for a replacement set (which would have been extremely expensive as the style of keys we had were the new fangled smart type keys that were part robot, part personal computer), or hitch a ride back to our house where the spare was kept.

Fortunately for us we were able to get a ride from one our family members who was nice enough to make a trip from Long Beach and drive us back to my car located in Fullerton.

In the end we made it to Fullerton and then to Encino and back again to Carlsbad in time for dinner. By the time we were able to drive both cars from Carlsbad to home it was well into the late evening. To say the least, it was a very stressful and tiring day.

It was the following day when I received the call from Katie who telephoned me from her office to tell me she found her keys. They were right in her purse where she left them on that rainy, wet night in Carlsbad.

After we laughed and considered how silly we were to have not check the little pocket in her purse where they were placed, we moved on and promised ourselves we would both have spare keys nearby just in case we managed to make a similar mistake or if we lost our keys while on another holiday.

For as small as keys are they certainly are an important part of our lives. Without them we would not be able to enter our house, our office, start our car or unlock the many locks we have protecting our belongings.

When we have them, life is great. When we don’t, well life can get pretty chaotic.

We should look at our special qualities, talents and gifts as keys (formulas for happiness and success).

This morning I received a call from Katie who called to tell me she accidentaly left the same set of robot-keys on the hood of her car when she took off for work. She heard them fly off of the car as she sped off from one of the intersections down the street.

Frantic and stressed, and ready to get sick, she returned home to pick up the spares we keep and drove me down the block where I found the destroyed set laying thrown and splattered all over the street in one of the busiest intersections in the San Fernando Valley.

The bad news was the metal keys – the ones to the house and locks – where utterly destroyed, bent, broken and completely non-functional, but the good news was, the Robot-key – made of plastic – was a little scratched but otherwise okay. How that happened no one could say.

Once again we were forced to address the issue with keys and we confirmed we had extras just in case something like this happened again.

In every endeavor there is a key. An element or solution that will allow you to perform what ever tasks are necessary to accomplish your goal and mission.

Many of us will seek out the answers and the formulas to life’s mysteries by reaching to exotic places and trying to locate the keys far beyond where we may be.

In many instances the answers and secrets to a happy and successful life are closer than we think. We have them deep within us.

Unfortunately, because of the noises in our life and the chaos and company we keep (in Coming-up we will call them people, places and things), we loose sight of this or we are unable to discern them even when they are right in front of us or in us.

Thought of Today: Today I will slow down and be silent. I will look within myself to find happiness and my highest fate . It’s here that the secrets to my life and my success will be found.